Living Well Dying Well

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Events Spring 2014

Who am I in the face of death and dying?
May 10th 2014 from 10 – 4.30 – Barcombe, E. Sussex
An experiential one-day workshop for counsellors and professionals in palliative care working at the deep end of death and dying, exploring what happens to us when we work with the grief and pain of others and finding new ways to attend to ourselves while tending others.
with Hermione Elliott and Brian Graham.
Fee £65 Early Bird by April 15th £75 thereafter
Bookings on-line http://livingwelldyingwell.net/courses-events/
Or please contact Tel: 01273 933115

Doula Foundation Training
Barcombe near Lewes, E.Sussex. We are now taking registrations for our next five-day Foundation course which begins on
May 22nd, 23rd, 24th + July 18th & 19th
This course is open to all who would like to be more informed about death and dying, to be more prepared, or to support friends or family. It is also the first stage of a training for lay people in support, companionship and mentorship for those facing death. Open to all who are interested. Early booking is essential.

For brochure, more information or to register on-line:
http://livingwelldyingwell.net/doulas/doula-training/
Or please contact Tel: 01273 933115

Death Café
Our next Death Cafe, organised Lewes-based Doulas, will be held at the Buttercup cafe in Lewes on Wednesday May 21st, it is a warm and friendly place very conducive to cups of tea, cake and conversation! Every evening is different and you are really welcome to come along for a taster.

Arrivals 6.30 arrivals and tea orders 7 pm start, until 9pm.
(http://thebuttercupcafe.wordpress.com)

The event is FREE, but places are limited, so BOOKING IS NECESSARY: . Tel 01273 933115

Dying Matters Week is a nation-wide series of events run by members of the Dying Matters Coalition, throughout the week of
May 12th – 18th. We are very happy to be taking part in an event – You Only Die Once – on Wednesday 14th May, held at The Brighton Unitarian Church, New Road Brighton, which is a lovely venue in the centre of town.

It’s for anyone who has wanted to find out anything about end of life, death and bereavement. Including where to get support if you’re caring for someone, Planning a will, getting your affairs in order, gathering memories on film, planning a funeral, embalming and burial and giving people the opportunity to meet and talk to the people & organizations who can help to make all this happen.
We’ll be there from 1pm unti 5pm.

Wishing you a smooth and happy transition into Spring and all that is unfolding for you.

warmest good wishes

Hermione
and Team

A RETREAT IN FRANCE with Fay Barratt.

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MARY MAGDALENE 

July 20th to 27th   2013

For men and women of all beliefs.

A healing  pilgrimage to the Truth of who you are, guided by Magdalene’s teaching and the energies of this land where Mary Magdalene has been revered for centuries. The gathering is held by Fay Barratt who is blessed with a deep connection to Mary Magdalene.  This connection has led to inspired writing, painting, a commentary on the Her Gospel as well as several Magdalene retreats.

 We will make a sacred pilgrimage to La Saint Baume, the sacred forest and the mountain cave where Magdalena is said to have spent the last 30 years of her life.

 We will join the traditional celebrations on the Feast of Mary Magdalene at St Maximin.

 We will share and explore the unfolding possibilities as we join with Her energy.   We will be shown creative routes to let go of all that stands in the way of the Spirit’s path.  We will sing, write, draw, dance, meditate and enter the deep silent Heart of Love.The spirit and teachings of Mary Magdalene, Miriam of Magdala, is emerging with force.  She brings the mystical feminine Christ Consciousness, the Divine Feminine, in a form that is ripe, perfect and powerful for us now.  It is the surrendered form of feminine spiritual leadership accessible to both men and women.  It is the bride turning up fully for the sacred marriage, Divine Union.

 The retreat is based in the beautiful village of Durfort et Saint Martin de Sossenac in the Languedoc region where Susie has intuitively journeyed. She will share with you her love of this most sacred of lands.   Accommodation is in a lovely local Gite with access to a private swimming pool to cool down on those hot afternoons.  There will be time for rest and recreation.   http://www.chambre-hotes-gite-labruguiere.com/english/index.html

The cost is £770.  Early bird by May 15th is £740.  Bursaries are available and discounts for interfaith ministers and couples. Please ask Susie if you need to discuss finances –    Payment by instalments accepted.

This includes accommodation, food,  workshop and workshop materials as well as all transport during your stay.  Places are limited so please book early.

Nearest airports are Montpellier and Nimes.  We may be able to provide airport transfers.

 To book or get help re travel contact Susie: 07597662840   www.yourlifeshealing.com  To find out more about the retreat contact Fay: 0161 2480220 www.faybarratt.co.uk 

 Fay is an inspirational spiritual teacher, Interfaith Minister, soul-centred counsellor and painter.  She has been facilitating workshops with people of all ages and abilities for over 30years.  As faculty member for One Spirit Interfaith Foundation, Fay trained hundreds of Interfaith ministers and Spiritual counsellors and has recently been made an Elder.  Currently she has a thriving counselling and supervision  practice in Manchester, offers tailor made sacred services, runs workshops and retreats on Creativity and The Divine Feminine, and creates spiritually inspired paintings like the one at the top of the page.

 Fay’s new internet radio programme called AWAKENING on www.untangledfm.com

 will be broadcast at 7pm every other Thursday from 22nd of February.  You can listen any time to the replays.

0161 248 0220 07980087277     www.faybarratt.co.uk

Creativity and death can be good friends

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Author: Trypheyna McShane, Art Therapist at Bear Cottage

21 March 2014
Trypheyna writes about the importance of using creativity during palliative care for both children and adults alike.
I’ve spent the majority of my life working as an artist in a multitude of different fields; I was a silversmith, a community artist as well as a wildlife artist for Zoological Parks Board of NSW. I then worked in waste and environmental education fields in local government, as well as creating commissions for high end international businesses. I certainly never expected to be working in the company of death.

As I explain in the Creativity in Grief chapter of my book The Intimacy of Death and Dying – Simple guidance to help you through:

“Sitting in the company of death may seem an unusual time to consider being creative, but as Julia Cameron says, ‘creativity, like human life itself, begins in darkness. In our darkest moments, if we allow our creative selves expression, we can often touch something far greater than ourselves and begin to let the light in. Everyone is an artist. Expressing yourself creatively is your birth right and gives voice to your soul.”

I personally believe that allowing our creativity expression is to allow our soul to speak. We have a sad lack of ‘soul speak’ in our world at the moment. We somehow believe that purchasing mass produced art will help heal the gaping wound inside of us, instead of trusting our own innate creativity, whatever expression it may take.

Why would an artist write a book about death and dying? Well actually it was life’s decision to keep putting death in front of me. In the end I could no longer ignore what I was being shown and instead learnt that there was something very important about understanding, and daring to stay in the company of death.  I am not a morbid type of person. I love life and I have learnt to love death as well.

Steve Jobs once said, “Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

I feel particularly privileged to now be working as an Art Therapist at Bear Cottage Children’s Hospice, witnessing the sheer joy of so many courageous families and staff intimately involved in creative memory making. No one doubts the importance or value of the beautiful creative expressions that come from the heartbreaking journeys of losing these children.

“Things don’t have to change the world to be important,” Steve Jobs explains.

I have been blessed to be in the company of both the living and the dying who have dared to allow their creative urges true expression in answer to death.

I remember clearly a little seven year old, whose company I was in right after his father died. He spent the whole day creating a magnificent artwork to go into his father’s coffin while reciting to me all his wonderful stories about his father.

And what of the beauty of the family who spent precious time with their dead eight year old son collecting both his and the family’s finger prints together. They then created two beautiful finger print tree artworks which now hold pride of place in their family home.

It was equally precious to witness the joy of a beautiful, unique and classy woman who directed all her creativity through the hands of another woman to make her own end of life gown.

Just recently I was honoured to experience the power of a young teenage girl just days before she died. She could no longer open her eyes and yet she put all the energy she could muster into working with us to create a last artwork for her mother.

I believe that creativity and palliative care are two vital supports needed together at the end of life.

Giraffe says goodbye to dying man, with a kiss

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Mario says goodbye to his friend at the zoo
Published at 3:16PM, March 21 2014

A dying man who was taken on a final visit to the zoo where he worked for more than 30 years was rewarded with a goodbye kiss — from a giraffe.

The 54-year-old, identified only as Mario, had worked for 25 years at Rotterdam Zoo, where he would help clean out the animals’ enclosures.

Mario, who was mentally ill and stricken by cancer, asked the Ambulance Wish Foundation to take him back to the zoo one last time, to see the animals and say goodbye to his former colleagues.

 

Bus driver makes hospice detour for grieving passenger

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27 January 2014
A Berkhamstead bus driver went the “extra mile” when she made a detour to a hospice after a passenger discovered her father had just died.

When Lisa Gregory received a call telling her that her father, who she had been travelling to see, had died at the Hospice of St Francis on the outskirts of Berkhamstead, bus driver Michelle Littlechild bought her a cup of tea before dropping her off at the hospice so that she could be at her father’s bedside.

After reporting the story, local newspaper the Hemel Hempstead Gazette helped reunite Michelle and Lisa, who was keen to thank the compassionate driver.

Lisa had burst into tears on hearing from her niece that her father, Tony Gregory, had died. Bus driver Michelle and the passengers comforted Lisa, and, with the agreement of passengers, made a detour to the hospice.

Hospice director Dr Ros Taylor said: “Time together after a loved one has just died is very precious. I’m delighted that the bus driver found the compassion to respond to Lisa’s request and go the extra mile, literally, to take the detour to St Francis to support Lisa in her hour of need.”

Fittingly, as an organisation The Hospice of St Francis prides itself on going “the extra mile”; it’s even the name of a short promotional film it released in October.

[Photo courtesy of Dave Satchel, Hemel Hempstead Gazette]

Links

Hospice of St Francis

Dying Matters Awareness Week

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For more information see: http://dyingmatters.org/

Win a natural burial plot!

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The Good Funeral Guide Blog

Thursday, 20 February 2014

Screenshot 2014-02-18 at 17

Posted by Daniel Lane of Leedam Natural Heritage

Free to enter and open to all

We would like all you seasoned and budding photographers alike to grab your cameras and make your way to our natural burial ground near you. Get creative and send us your best. Whether that’s a floral close up, a panoramic view or of the people you’re with, send up to five pictures for your chance to win a natural burial plot at your choice of one of our burial grounds.There will be one winner per burial ground (so seven in total).Please also send a short written piece about yourselves (200 words max.) as we would love to know more about you … Where does your love of photography come from? Did you already know about natural burial or is this the first you’ve heard? What’s your favourite thing about spring? And to help give your pictures some background, please give your photographs titles to really capture the moment. Send your picture/s to  in their original format by 1st May 2014. Winners will be announced on 8th May 2014 on our website’s blog and our facebook and twitter pages.

Different Faiths, One Love – ETC Magazine

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Horsham’s very own Interfaith Minister, Rev. Jean Francis, shares with Simon Robb her passion for uniting different religions in beautiful matrimony. Etc. Magazine published this article about Interfaith weddings in their February 2014 edition. Pictures by Steve Cobb.

ETC Magazine article, February 2014

ETC Magazine article, February 2014

The Healing Power of a Good Funeral

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When Colin, my ex-husband was told he had only a short while to live he asked if I would write and conduct his funeral. I began to put words together and as I read them to him over the phone asked him to stop me if he wanted to make changes. During this process he opened up in a way I had never known, in all our years of marriage and it was like our hearts really touched for the very first time.

He spoke about the hardships suffered as a 13 year old on a naval training ship and his time spent in Korea during his National Service. As he spoke I could hear the pain in his voice as he remembered and verbalised the horrors for probably the first time. I began to deeply regret not having been more compassionate within our marriage. He had buried such traumatic memories that were now being allowed to surface as he surrendered to the inevitable. What a pity this conversation, which led to such a deep understanding, had not taken place many years before!

As we discussed in minute detail the message he wished me to deliver within the service, we changed words and refined the meanings and he was absolutely positive as to what he wished to be included or not. The service content was extremely personal and reflected his deep love of animals, fishing and the natural world. It concluded with a committal written especially for hm. See the order of service attached.

Just before his passing I sent him a letter of love and regret saying ‘maybe we’ll be better equipped the next time around.’ On the day of the funeral the funeral director caught my eye as I began to lead the coffin towards the catafalque, saying: ‘He has your letter in his hand.’

Having lived with so many painful memories he had finally, surrendered…

Colin and I had been divorced for 18 years, with our beloved dogs acting as our bridge to friendship.

Colin’s request that I play this role within his funeral was an honour and a profoundly healing experience for me and I truly believe for him too. I have always had an inner knowing that by discussing such arrangements prior to need, unique opportunities for adjustment and healing can be found, I now know! Faced with our demise we can think and speak more openly and honestly. Having looked death right in the face, we can get on and live our lives more fully, benefitting from the knowledge gained within the process.

To plan your own funeral prior to need or that of a loved one contact Jean.

A Timely Round…

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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”